With only one month left... Actually, with less than a month left, I have been doing some reflecting about my time here. Lately, I've been spending copious amounts of time in my room or the library writing and writing and writing. Now that one of my classes is done (with the final paper turned in), I only have two more finals and two more 12-14 page papers to write- yippee. I'm not actually worried about either of my finals and one of my papers- a group paper- but the stress of getting through them while the weather is nice and all I want to do is finish exploring this glorious city because it was much harder with torrential downpours and tornado windstorms. Thursday is my friend Caroline's birthday and one of our R.A.'s rents out his boat- I think I'm going to rent it (a small dingy) to take us around for about half an hour. I'll see how much it costs and if the weather is supposed to be nice. Besides trying to get to all the places I haven't yet, I've been thinking about how my time here has changed me. I've definitely had some really great times and some really really bad times but, without this time I would never have come to realize how much I really value the relationship I have with my friends and the relationship i have with my country. I love the U.S., I love the excitement of having a new president who I am proud of, the way people treat each other, the community I have created. I'm very excited to get back to L.A. and while I do love Amsterdam, I don't think I'd ever choose to live here permanently- unless I had a really great job opportunity. I think part of that is because I haven't really felt like I have actually lived here. I'm halfway between a tourist and a resident, I don't really get caught in tourist traps, I know cheap and good places to eat but, I haven't found a community besides the in transit international college students. I don't know any Dutch people and they haven't really reached out, or I haven't exactly found any points of entry into that life.
That's part of the whole global citizen thing that I don't quite understand. Sure, I have dual citizenship, my family travels a lot, I've been living in Amsterdam for four months but, none of it feels like home. Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY grateful for all of the experiences I have had abroad and I do not at all resent any of that but, at the same time there is nothing like Paso Robles, there is nothing like Eagle Rock because those are the places where the people I love live and there is nothing better than the people I love.
On another note, I watched Rachel getting married (movie with Anne Hathaway) and I think it was one of the most beautiful movie I have seen in a long time. Anne Hathaway's character gets out of rehab and comes home to the preparations for her sister's, Rachel, wedding. She is very self absorbed, and there is this very sordid past sub-plot but, basically the whole movie is about love and family. A long section of the movie is set at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner where everyone is telling stories about the married couple to be, and there is so much beautiful music, and so many powerful words. I was almost crying the entire movie because it was so beautiful. I want to spread all that love that this movie made me feel. gentle and strong love. I love you guys, and I miss you and I can't wait to see everyone. Spread the love!
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